Why you keep inheriting other people’s emergencies
Readtime: 3 minutes
This is the unspoken rule of modern work:
Whoever cares the most ends up fixing everything.
But caring isn’t the same as fixing. Caring builds trust. Fixing builds exhaustion.
And if you’re not careful, you’ll spend your entire week cleaning up messes you didn’t make.
How we accidentally inherit chaos
Most people don’t delegate emergencies on purpose.
They just panic.
Someone realises they’re late, fires off a desperate “Need this ASAP!” message, and feels instant relief the moment it leaves their outbox.
The moment that relief hits them, the pressure transfers to you.
You think, “If I don’t handle this, everything will fall apart.”
So you jump in, shuffle your priorities, and save the day.
That little adrenaline hit feels like leadership.
But it’s not.
It’s rescuing – and rescuing trains everyone to wait for you.
Pretty soon, your week is packed with other people’s problems because you’ve trained everyone that you’ll always catch the ball when they drop it.
The real reason you keep saying yes
You’re not addicted to chaos.
You’re addicted to being needed.
When people ask for help, it feels like trust.
Proof that you’re competent. Needed.
But when every “urgent” request gets an instant yes, you teach other people that your time doesn’t have limits.
You can’t lead if you’re constantly reactive. And you’ll only manage until your own goals start slipping through the cracks.
A better rule: The 10-Second Ownership Filter
Before responding to any request that seems like panic, pause for ten seconds and run it through The 10-Second Ownership Filter:
1. Time: What happens if I do this later?
– If nothing breaks, it’s not an emergency.
2. Impact: Who’s affected if I don’t do it?
– If it doesn’t move a customer, a key project, or a critical outcome, it can probably wait.
3. Owner: Is this really mine to solve?
– If it’s someone else’s job, return ownership – don’t reward poor planning.
That short pause is your firewall against other people’s chaos.
How this plays out
“Can you jump on a call in 15 minutes?”
→ “I’m in the middle of a deliverable that impacts this quarter’s target. Tell me what you need and I’ll reply tomorrow morning.”
“The client needs this deck tonight.”
→ “Happy to help. This wasn’t on the plan – what should I stop to make room?”
“Can you take this one? It’s quick.”
→ “Looks like the Ops Team should own this. I’d suggest checking with them.”
Each response returns the problem to its rightful home, without guilt or attitude.
If you want more tips on how to say “no” without looking lazy, take a look at this LinkedIn post.
Why boundaries feel awkward (and why you need them)
At first, you’ll worry that people will think you’re unhelpful.
They won’t. They’ll think you’re clear.
Clear about how to work with you, not through you.
We often think that boundaries are defences that push people away. But really they’re just teaching people where you stand, and a better way to work.
The calmer you are under pressure, the more authority you project.
Panic looks like weakness. Calm looks like leadership.
The bottom line
Every week, you’ll be offered a dozen chances to carry someone else’s crisis.
You’ll most likely have to accept a few, but not all.
So, the next time an “urgent” email lands in your inbox, pause, and ask yourself:
What happens if I do this later?
Who’s affected if I don’t do it?
Is this really mine to fix?
That ten-second pause is how you stop inheriting other people’s emergencies so you can protect your own agenda.
Try this next week and let me know how you get on!
Mostyn
P.S. If your team keeps firefighting instead of delivering their best work, I can help. Click ‘Book a call’ above.