The unfair rules of work (that no one tells you)
Readtime: 4 minutes
Most people believe work is fair.
If you work hard, keep your head down, and deliver great results, someone will notice. Eventually, you’ll be rewarded.
I used to believe that too.
But after 20 years in corporate leadership, and coaching hundreds of professionals through career transitions, I’ve learned that work isn’t fair.
But it is predictable.
The people who rise fastest aren’t always the hardest workers. They’re the ones who understand the unwritten rules that most people never see.
I learned this the hard way.
Back in 2014, I thought I was on track to make Partner at KPMG.
Strong client relationships.
Great financial results.
Working on some of the firm’s biggest accounts.
By every official measure, I was ready.
Then came the Partner selection process.
At one breakfast meeting, each of us had to present ourselves to the senior leadership team. Many of them didn’t really know me. I made what I thought was a strong, data-driven case. I talked about how well my insurance industry focussed department was performing compared to other parts of the business.
What I didn’t realise was how that landed.
In trying to champion my area, I’d unintentionally undermined senior leaders who ran larger parts of the firm.
I walked out thinking I’d done pretty well.
Shortly afterwards, I was told I was out of the process.
I was frustrated. Confused. Disappointed.
I’d played by the rule book I thought existed. And it hadn’t worked.
That’s when I realised something that changed everything for me:
At senior levels, it’s not just what you deliver.
It’s who you have credibility with, and how you are perceived across the organisation.
Same work ethic.
Same results.
Completely different understanding of how the game is actually played.
A year later, I made Partner.
Hard work gets you noticed early on.
But emotional intelligence, relationships, and strategic awareness are what get you to the top.
Over time, I’ve seen the same patterns again and again. Seven unwritten rules that quietly determine who gets promoted and who gets passed over.
Here they are:
1. Visibility matters as much as performance
Great work doesn’t speak for itself. If decision-makers don’t see your contribution, you might as well not exist when opportunities come up. Visibility isn’t bragging. It’s making you’re your impact is known.
2. You need a sponsor, not just a mentor
Mentors advise you. Sponsors advocate for you when you’re not in the room. That’s where senior decisions are made.
3. Perception is reality
Your intent doesn’t matter nearly as much as the impact you make on others. How you come across will shape opportunities long before your performance does.
4. Your boss isn’t enough
At senior levels, your future is decided by people who don’t manage you. Build credibility outward, not just upward.
5. Meeting expectations is the baseline
To stand out, you need visible, high-impact contributions beyond your role. Be selective and strategic, not just ‘busy’.
6. Prevent problems, don’t just fix them
Firefighting feels heroic, but it doesn’t signal senior leadership. Anticipation and planning do.
7. Discretion builds trust
As you get more senior, what you don’t say matters more than what you do. Trust is built quietly.
Whenever I share these rules, someone usually says:
“This all sounds a bit political.”
I get it. I felt the same early in my career.
But this isn’t about manipulation. It’s about understanding how decisions are really made, and navigating that reality with integrity.
You can be visible without being inauthentic.
You can build influence without compromising your values.
You can play the game without losing yourself.
Understanding these rules will get you ahead.
If you want to go deeper, watch my 14-minute YouTube video: 7 Things Top Executives Know About Work That You Don't
And, as always, reply and let me know what you think!
Mostyn